Possibility

I started talking to a therapist last year. I really hadn’t told anyone because I was ashamed that I needed a therapist - which is completely ironic & hypocritical considering I’m in grad school to BE a therapist. (That negative stigma around mental health is real & anxiety/depression is very, very real!)

But among the many things my therapist helped me work through, one that I didn’t expect was the way she acted as a broker of permission in that she gave me a supportive environment & the permission to look at God in a new way. She gave me thoughts and questions to sit with to help me explore why I felt the way I did about God.

It was like rewiring an old house, I had to disconnect all of the ways I had attached the God figure to my lack of a biological father figure. I had to tear down the vision I’ve had my entire life of a God who is mean and vengeful, sitting on his throne with a big stick just waiting for me to screw up so he can smack me on the head, and in the end, would just leave me.

My therapist opened my eyes to the wild possibility that I AM worthy of love, and that God isn’t who I thought He was.

I think that’s a big part of therapy - reminding people that regardless of their past, there is a possibility that they can re-wire their thoughts and re-author their stories. Therapy can be hard, but the hope that it brings you is worth all the hard, internal work it takes to get to the other side of healing.

Maybe you don’t think you need therapy because you aren’t feeling anxious or depressed. But maybe you DO need to be reminded of the possibility that you are worthy of more in your life.